"I have a (good) tumor"

October 26, 2011
Salt Lake City, Utah

"Bad doctors" 
I don't like bad doctors...

Yesterday I went to the doctor to find out about a little limp on my lower back that I can feel but I can't see.

This bad doctor looked at it for little while, then touched  it and moved it around... and she said, "Yeah... it's a Lipoma"

Me: "OK" (Confused face)

Bad Doctor: "I can move it around, so that's a good thing..."

Me: "OK" (Confused face)

Bad Doctor: "Yeap" (She really said "yeap")

** Awkward silence**

Me: "What's a Lipoma?"

Bad Doctor: "Oh... A lipoma is a benign tumor. It is the most common form of soft tissue tumor.Lipomas are soft to the touch, usually movable, and are generally painless. Many lipomas are small like yours... some time it grows and..."

Me: "OK..." (Yeah... all I was hearing was..."It's a tumor, It's a tumor, It's a tumor")

Bad Doctor: "...You can Google it about it if you want." (She actually said that)

** Awkward silence**

"OK..." I said confused...looking at the assistant with an is-she-serious? face.

Bad Doctor: Getting ready to leave the room Bad Doctor said "Well, do you have any other question for me?" (Kind of weird question after saying "Google it")

Me: Yes... why does it hurt when you touch it?

Bad Doctor: "That's a good question..." 

** Awkward silence**

Bad Doctor: "Some times when we press it might touch a nerve... and make you feel pain..." 

Me: "OK..."

Bad Doctor: "If you want I can refer you a specialist, take sample and confirm... but my educated guess is that it's just a lipoma... Anything else?" she said while her assistant passed me the bill. ("Yes, she is serious" I imagined the assistant said to me)

** Awkward silence** 

Worse advice EV(A) Award goes to: Doctor Elisa Wilcox "...You can Google it about it if you want." (About Lipoma)

Popular Posts