"The Way You Did Once, Upon a Dream"

Bountiful, Utah
April 14, 2013

"Love"

Wife,
I  wonder if you often ask yourself why
I keep hoping we can be together.
If we indeed will one day be happy
after this storm pass....
 (...)

For ever I'll love you,
no matter what's to come.

Love, Always,

Husband.

Epilogue: Not all love stories have a happy ending.

Maybe you haven’t asked yourself that question at all,
but I did.
Why do I keep believing in you,
why do I keep believing in us?
...Hoping this can be fixed
Why do I keep walking blindly towards you,
when in the path there is nothing but hurting spines.

This morning I woke up thinking about us,
what we have...
(had?)
...about feelings.
Feelings that seems to be dying now.
Feelings that seemed to be so strong before,
ready to take over the world,
but appeared to be non-existent at times.

Why can’t we see 'love'?
Wouldn’t it make things so much easier,
and worth to fight for?
if we only could see the other person's love? 

Maybe if we could take a peek into the future
 and see where all this sacrifice at the end will take us?
 I guess anything worth it and eternal requires faith.

"Faith"

I looked around for the definition of Faith.
“complete trust or confidence in someone or something.” 
“Strong belief in God or in the doctrines,
 based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.”
“Faith is a principle of action and power.” 
“Whenever we work toward a worthy goal,we exercise faith.” 
“We show our hope for something that we cannot yet see.”

"Believe"

I believed in us.
I believe, because I have faith.
I cannot deny He himself took time to let me know
you were the one I supposed to marry to.
Of course I was dreaming
of everything Disney convinced me
what a perfect happy marriage life should/could be like.
A dream.

But the more I think about our story,
about us,
the more I see His hand on our life.
We both have problems to get solved,
I know it,
you know it,
He knows it too.

But even then,
in spite of our faults,
He thinks we deserve happiness,
and He is willing to give us the the chance of full blessings of his glory,
with the promise of eternal happiness.

I am super humbled by this whole experience.
Humbled to my knees.
I know, even though sometimes I don’t show it,
that I don’t deserve any… ANY of the blessings I  got. 

You and the kid were the ultimate blessing in my life.
And The greatest blessing I have been trusted upon.

I never understood the magnitude of it all,
until I was sealed to you.
Receiving impressions that involved us was/is overwhelming.
I was responsible for other people besides me!

I never understood the atonement until now.
And that the answer to my question…
"How come do I keep holding on to something that seems impossible?"
Because I believe that a Heavenly Father told us both,
we ought to be together for some purpose higher than ourselves.
And even though our rebellious spirit tries to pull us away from His plan,
He seems to go out of His way to bring us back together.

I believe the gospel and the atonement
will be the only way we can make it.
THE only way.

Am I a full for believing that?

I believe that any time
and every time, something,
no matter how fun and exciting it feels,
if it is taking us away from Him
is not coming from Him.

I have, obviously, a lot to change and improve
since my faith has never been as strong
to actually be able to trust.
But what I have a lot in me, is will.

I do want to believe.
I do want to understand.
I do want to know.

I have a lot of wonder in me
that pulls me forward,
and as long as I followed that will,
it always pulled me forward.

We need to learn together.
As a team,
you and me.

We need to learn how to love
one another.
How to respect
each other,
and respect our time and space.

Respect the commitment
we bowed to each other.

I love you Wife,
I do.
I don’t know what life has in storage for us,
but I do know
that together we can go through anything
and be happy.
Don’t let anyone take that away
from us.

I love you so much.
I do.
I love everything about you.
I really do.

Don’t over think anything…
Hold long to that feeling you got
when you found out I was going to be the one.
It’s not a fantasy, it’s real…
I know it, I know you know it too.

That is the only thing that matters to me.
The rest we can figure it out
together.

Don’t let anyone else into our bubble.
I promise I will do the same.

You and I, holding the kid close to us,
together…
against the world.

I love you
and I believe in us.

For ever I'll love you,
no matter what's to come.

Love, Always,

Husband.